Today, we have one of my best friends on the entire planet on the podcast. That’s right. Canadian super coach Jackie Serviss in the house! If you know me and anything about me, you know that Jackie Serviss is one of my favorite people on the entire planet. And we’ve only known each other for a little over a year. That speaks to the power of masterminds. Jackie and I met last year at Chris and Laurie Harder’s amazing mastermind fast foundations. We sat next to each other for the first day and it was so meant to be so synchronistic because Jackie like me is a former corporate employee turned corporate drop out and we just quickly connected and have become such beautiful soul sisters. Jackie is a business coach, but she is in the middle of making a pivot in a transition in her business. Jackie is THE people person. Meaning Jackie has a background in HR, where she is now helping to scale startups and mid-sized organizations. We have people. She’s a people strategist. So basically as you are growing and scaling your business and your organization, Jackie is the person to call to help you with the people aspect meaning who should you hire next? What type of positions should you fill or create and then she will actually help you get the people. So that’s my girl Jackie Serviss. You can find her on Instagram at @jackieserviss follow her, give her some love. Today on this episode, Jackie and I really touch on and talk about why we transitioned and pivoted out of that corporate world out of those jobs that seemed so appealing, those jobs that we worked really, really hard to get but then ultimately found completely unfulfilling. We dive into how great success led us to realize that we really didn’t know who we were as women, and caused us to do a lot of soul searching and go on a huge soul journey. And that is something that we connect on. And as soon as I met her and heard her, her story resonated with me so much. So check it out, let me know what you think. Send me a DM share this with your friends. If you have any friends who are former attorneys or in corporate America in the life of a litigator, please share this with them. And if you love it, we would love it if you would rate and review the podcast and share it on your stories because that’s how people will find and learn and grow with us as the podcast grows.
So with that, here’s the podcast.
REGINA: What was your personality? What was your corporate Jackie Serviss work persona?
JACKIE: That’s good. Listen, let’s just tell the listeners that we started today by almost getting on zoom naked. Like that’s where we’re at in our friendship. That’s the kind of relationship we have. It was a joke, but not really.
REGINA: But not really. And then also right before we started talking, I was just telling Jackie about an anal fissure in my butthole. And so that’s really what our friendship is like. So, you know, naked butthole tears, the whole thing.
JACKIE: Welcome to the podcast. This is Regina Lawrence and Jackie Serviss coming at you from our daily conversations.
REGINA: Okay, so tell me about your Jackie service, corporate America persona.
JACKIE: I would say I adapted to what I thought everyone else wanted me to be at that time in my life. And I’m sure many can attest to this. So you know, like, what’s the corporate love? What’s the personality? How do you show up. I was extroverted, I enjoyed being the person in HR that was least likely to be named somebody in HR, meaning I was highly connected to people in a lot of different functions. I had a lot of friendships and other functions. A lot of people told me my whole life like you should be in sales, how did you end up in HR, you know, just these type of conversations yet, I think, why I was so successful in HR is because I was a little bit of a chameleon, and could adapt my personal like my personality and could adapt to the person who was sitting in front of me. So whether you were like a VP or a head of a function or a marketing manager, I could adapt and kind of find something in common with everyone. You know, to be honest with you, though, that was what made me so strong and corporate, but that was also the Achilles heel that broke me in corporate. That was that I was a chameleon and I was everything to everyone.
REGINA: Oh, so the fact that you had you felt as though you had to be everything to everyone, energetically, just fucking destroy you.
JACKIE: It did. Yeah. Because that’s exhausting. I mean, like, what fucking hat do I have to wear right now? Like, who am I talking to? What meeting? am I walking into? What you know what personality is on the other side of the desk. And a lot of the people on the other side of the desk weren’t changing who they were when I walked in the room. Yeah. So I was trying to adapt, fit in. It’s kind of a way I would say it. Listen, I was still a strong personality. I still had. You know, I was one of those women who, in a way, had friends that I brought with me, but I also had my own agenda. I knew where I was going in my corporate career. I had mentors who supported me through that. And I was a little bit of head down like, I ever get on the bus or get off because I’m going and if you want to come with me, then let’s roll. And if you’re not interested, then Get the fuck off. Because we’re going anyways.
REGINA: I feel the same way. Like when I was in corporate, I was that head down workhorse chameleon? Who could be all the things for anyone, any client, any supervisor, anybody I was working with, but my question for you, because this just popped into my brain? I actually never thought about this before. Were you able to chameleon so hard? And then it got so difficult for you? Because you actually started to figure out who you were and what your identity was? And once you figured out your true identity or started to, then the “chameleon-ing” really wore on you. Does that question Make sense?
JACKIE: Yeah, Lance lands fully with me. But to be honest, Reggie we have our own language so let’s hope it lands to people outside of here but let me answer. This is how it lands for me because you know my story well, but let me share with the listeners. You know, I was so many things to so many people that I had no idea who I was. Period. Personally, my story is I had a massive wake-up call. That started the process of uncovering my voice and finding out who I was. Had I not had that wake-up call. I mean, it was divine timing and all the things. So I do believe that that was the moment I was meant to start the journey of figuring out what my voice was. Because that was like a hard left turn like I was going right. And I was running straight towards this title. And this, you know, the feeling of I’ve made it and placing a lot of my worth in the hands of materialism and title and what other people thought of me. Like, it’s really easy for your parents to be like, hey, my daughter’s a lawyer. Hey, my daughter’s a VP of HR. Like, that’s easy for people to understand and digest in the external market. Yep, they get that they can place that they know how to place you as a human. Right. And then they, they kind of slow pop in like, Wow, you’ve, you’ve raised a beautiful child, and you’ve raised a great daughter because of what we’ve become in our titles. And so if you go back to that moment, like, I think I had to run directly into a brick wall to wake me up.
REGINA: And what was the share with everybody what that brick wall was for you? Because you didn’t say?
JACKIE: Yeah, yeah, so the brick wall for me, the moment that shifted my entire life, quite frankly, my trajectory in life and how I started to move through it was 2012, October 25, I walked into a doctor’s office, and you’re a lawyer, I was an HR, I spent my entire life walking into rooms, where you could read energy very quickly. Was this a good conversation, was a heavy conversation, what type of conversation were we about to have, and I also read body language and humans really well. So I walked in, I looked directly at the doctor, and immediately knew that I was about to receive a message that I was going to be happy. So I sat down in this doctor’s office chair. I was 27 years old, relatively healthy, grew up a performance athlete, really, you know, knew a lot about my body and how to work within the confines of my body. I knew I knew a lot about it. And it had been about 365 days, I knew something was up. So energy was low, my hair started to fall out, I started to struggle with weight loss, which had never been an issue up until that point in time. And when I sat down on that chair, listen, the doctor told me multiple things, but the only thing I heard from him was Jackie, you have a brain tumor. And in a moment like that, how it felt was that the wall started to close in, yet everything became more clear to me than it had ever been. So it felt like I was suffocating. And I could see clearly for the first time in my life. And I equate that to the death of an identity, like I was literally the identity of the old self, the version of Jackie, who showed up that day was no longer going to be the one that needed to step into the future version of self.
REGINA: Would you say that that pivotal moment like you would not have been able to step into who you are today without that pivotal moment?
JACKIE: It’s 100%. Guaranteed I would not be. I also trust and you know, this in divine timing, and I trust that at that moment, the universe. Listen, I’m going to be honest, I believe the universe tried to give me nudges and signs along the way. I can pinpoint moments now, in hindsight, but there were these moments where I was like, wow, I knew that that happened. But I put my head down and went back to the grind anyway. I felt that in my body, but instead, you know, I could just throw in another 10 hours on a weekend and you know, become the high performer and get the next promotion. So it was always a trade-off. Like I had these signs that the trade-off was gonna remove me from what I’ve thought inside I really wanted. Which was validation, title, money, lifestyle. And listen, some of those things have come with me, but I’ve refined it and defined what I really want to take with me and those things.
REGINA: Well, I think it’s also not only have you refined it, but it’s the motivation behind it that is different, right? So the desire for wealth and to have success in business isn’t necessarily gone. But what is the reason why you’re craving that? What’s the initial goal, right? It’s to serve, it’s to build, it’s to collaborate, it’s to connect as a result of doing all of those highly high energetic things. The wealth comes but your goals are different.
JACKIE: 100% 100% and in that moment that I talked about where I’m suffocating yet so clear, the things that had once mattered before that day in that doctor’s office became so trivial. Like they just didn’t matter anymore. And when we were listening, I had been around, like I had seen death, I’ve been around death, I had contemplated death in some, some way shapes and forms probably more as a kind of mid to late 20s, female than I think most of my peers and friends had. I saw deaths and friendships in high school, I saw deaths of grandparents and people close to me. And yet, the interesting thing in that moment is it was the first time I truly sat back to reflect on my own life, and therefore death for self. And that’s a different game, right? Like, we all know that there will be a day we all know that there’s going to be a time we’re not like, we can see that we understand the life cycle. And yet, so many of us don’t even spend 1% of our time thinking or contemplating about, well, what do I want this life to be? And if today is my last day, then have I lived out my truth, my purpose, my passion, my legacy, you know, we all use different words for it. And so I think that in itself really shifted things for me quickly, because it was the first time I had started to contemplate death for myself. And I started to look like I started to look kind of up my life in these compartments and buckets and start to assess them and understand them and die. Like, try to try to beam it up, right? That’s how you and I work, right? It’s like, okay, let’s look at all this shit and try to bucket into different places and try to get some insights out of what I’ve done so far in my life. And the number one thing that kept coming up for me through that whole time of reflection and really deep contemplation was I did not know who I was. I didn’t even know what Jackie’s voice sounded like anymore. And this is coming from a strong, independent corporate executive.
REGINA: People that’s like, so confusing to people. I think that people see women who are very educated, have great career success, and have the money and all of the things and they don’t understand why we hit this wall, and I’m seeing it a lot in our 30s. We hit this wall in our 30s. Because think about it in our 30s we’ve been hustling our assets since we were teenagers, right? So half of our life has literally been spent hustling. I think it’s so confusing to people to be like, I’m unhappy with my life and everything I’ve created, and I need a major shift and a pivot. Do you feel like when I have that conversation with people, they’re very confused. Like, I don’t understand you had everything? Do you have that conversation?
JACKIE: A lot, a lot. And honestly read the way you went along this ride with me. So for those that don’t know, Regina and I met sitting beside each other in a mastermind, Chris and Laurie harders. mastermind last January 2019. So this is a human I’ve known for like a year and a half who’s literally been through life with me in that time. And I remember us sitting down beside each other and having a similar type of conversation, because we landed in this place of mastermind online coaching, building a business with very different backgrounds, and a lot of other people had come to that room with so right, wrong and different. Like we just were like shit, you come from a world I come from cool. We clearly connect because of our stories. And because of the path that we had been on. You know, the interesting thing is like back to that question of like, do people look at it and think like, what the heck, you had everything and, and yet us you didn’t feel like you had the confidence or you didn’t feel like you knew what your voice was internally. And it’s just such an interesting topic because I think so many women in business in life are chameleons. Yeah. I think the way in which we were raised for the group of us that are in our probably late 20s 30s, early 40s, that kind of timeframe. You know, it was a little bit fitting in the box. A little bit of like for anyone that’s read untamed by Glennon Doyle, like I think she articulated in such a profound way like I knew that for so long, yet she has a way of telling it through a story that just lands So, so deeply with me of like, we were told, like, be quiet like Be the good girl like follow the rules like do all the things. And so I was raised conditioned to believe that Oh, I just play inside this box. And if I could be the best fucking person that plays inside this box, I will get the things I wanted in life.
REGINA: Yeah, well it’s also when you think about the box, like there are certain characteristics that we must subscribe to, to fit in the box. And when we look at the box of Jackie corporate america / the box Regina Lawrence trial attorney that each of our boxes had characteristics that we could step into as chameleons. So you can walk into a boardroom, and you could be fucking Jackie motherfucking Serviss man, getting shit done, doing your job, I could walk into a courtroom and do the same thing. But what I realized was when I stripped the box away, I didn’t know who I was because I hid behind the factors of being an attorney. And when I actually stripped it all away, and we stepped into this online space of creating a brand and creating a business, it was really scary because I was no longer Regina, the attorney. But now my brand is who I am and who the fuck am I? Did you feel like that?
JACKIE: So much though. Like, yes, we’ve lived a similar life, my friend. And you know, it’s so interesting, right? I feel like I remember your story. And I’m sure your listeners have heard it. Like I can literally see you in a pencil skirt line on your office floor. Like having a panic attack. Like I that story is so integrated into my heart, because it’s very similar to how I perceive I felt in the doctor’s office when shit started to get clear, but suffocated at the same time. Yeah, but those moments in our lives, I see them as very similar, because they were pivotal moments that led us down a different trajectory. Totally. The first time I started asking the bigger questions in life, who am I? What am I here for? What am I meant to do? What are my gifts? like? What does this all mean? And that has been an unpacking and an unconditioned thing and a reframing since 2012, like we’re in 2020, we’ll talk about 2020 in a minute. But that’s been eight years of unpacking that conditioning and that identity and like, I branded myself, my identity in corporate was a high performer. Yeah, you’re a high performer, I’m a high performer, female. And that came with this persona. And to your point, I could walk into a boardroom, and like, fuckin talk sports with the CEO, and also walk down the hall and like, connect with a with one of my favorite humans, who was an admin, like, I can do that in a split second. And so that gift, I pulled what I loved about that, like Jackie 1.0, into this next level version of myself, but, you know, if you’re listening to this, and you’re asking yourself, like, like, I would ask yourself a question like, do you know what your voice sounds like? You truly know what you want. Because that’s just like uncovering and that has been my journey into spirituality, that has been my journey into self-help and growth in business and everything I’m doing today started at that moment in that doctor’s office.
REGINA: What do you think is the biggest, and I know that this is a very loaded question. But what do you think the biggest tools or things that you did or read or like threw yourself into, that helped you to really uncover your true identity and your true voice? Because I know there are so many things that you’ve done. But if somebody is listening to this, and they are in the position that we were in, where they’re in the doctor’s office, or they’re laying on the office floor, where do they even start?
JACKIE: Mm hmm. You know what, it’s so interesting, like, I’m going to tell it with my story, because I feel like that just people can kind of blend in and feel what resonates for them. You know, I spent about six weeks after that doctor’s office in the dark, literally and figuratively, picture Jackie, blinds closed in her bed, not want to get out because I didn’t know what was happening. There was so much uncertainty in my life, for the very first time. I was like, I don’t want to deal with this shit. So I’m just gonna close myself in my bedroom and pretend like it’s not happening. head under the pillow like, Yes, I could answer the doctor’s calls and try to navigate it, but I was there. There was so much happening that very quickly my conditioning was victim mentality. Why is this happening to me? Like, Oh, poor me kind of mentality that was going on. And it was like, it was six weeks because I got that news at the end of October, it was early December. And it’s almost like, you know, that feeling were like, Okay, enough self pity, get your ass out of bed again, like that moment happened. And I got out of bed one morning. And I thought to myself, like, What is one thing that I can do for me? Which was a loaded question back then, because I know if I had no idea, but what’s one thing I can do for me that will actually make me feel good. And I grew up, I mentioned this earlier, I grew up to be a performance swimmer. So in my mind, the only thing I knew what to do for myself, was to go get a massage. You get a massage, and that makes everything better, right? That was the only thing I knew what to do for myself. And that day actually started this whole spiritual evolution for myself, because I walked into that RMT’s office. First of all, I have an omen with brick walls. So like, if I see a brick wall, it’s like a sign for me in life. It’s like a compass, a reminder, because for me, what it felt like when I was in that doctor’s office is I was in full tilt sprinting as fast as I could at life, and that somebody threw up a brick wall, but I did not see and I hit it and I fell flat on my ass. That’s how I see it in my eyes. And so I walked into this RMT’s office, which was four brick walls. And I kind of looked around and I kind of smiled to myself. And this woman, this 35 year old RMT woman, looked at me and said, I don’t think you’re here for a massage today. And like logical break Jackie’s like, well, what the fuck do you think I’m here for I signed up for massage. And she’s like, listen, I don’t know if you’d be open to this or not. But I’m a Reiki Master and its energy and it helps healing energy, because I feel like you’re transitioning. There’s a lot going on for you. It’ll make you feel peaceful was the word she used. I remember it so well. And I thought, Okay, let’s try it. I said yes. And I honestly believe that the doctor’s office moment cracked me. And in that crack, led to a yes, where I would have 100% said no to before. So a little crack that led to a yes. And that yes, led to Reiki and that Reiki led to healing and that healing led to a book which led to a coach which led to as you know, the story. And so when you ask that question of like, what’s the profound moment I’ve had so many people ask me this, I’m sure you have to like, what’s the roadmap? How did you do it? How did you leave corporate and become an entrepreneur? Like, that’s a question I get literally daily. And all of our stories are different. But there’s moments where I remember saying yes, because I was a little bit more open than I would have been beforehand. That led me down a path to a person or to a coach or to a book that had a massive, life changing, profound impact on me. Yep, I guess it led me to sitting beside you in a mastermind in LA. So I go back to some of the fundamentals of like I said, Yes to Should I never would have said yes to before, if I go into literature like Dr. Joe Dispenza. I’m a big fan because of his work with neuroscience and epigenetics and spirituality, kind of like demystifies the spiritual world. And that was really healthy for me, trying to figure out what a brain tumor was in amongst the energy that I was dealing with internally in my body. So he was a huge impact in my life. Reading books like Untethered soul by Michael Singer was massive for me. And quite frankly, it was then the shift of who I started to spend time with. Yeah, you know, instead of going to the bars, I was hanging out at yoga studios. You know, it was just a shift and don’t get me wrong, you know, I still like to go out and have my fun as well. I’m not drinking tequila with you ever though. Like I can’t do it. Not my thing.
REGINA: That’s a lie. She does drink tequila with me. I’ve turned her on to a ginger Margarita. And she likes that shit too. Don’t even lie to the people.
JACKIE: It’s the only tequila I will drink in this ginger Margarita.
REGINA: Well then I’m going to start peddling ginger and make you ginger Margarita. So you could have Tequila with me. Listen, you’re not the first bitch to tell me she won’t drink tequila with me and you won’t be the last because I convert you all.
JACKIE: You have a way about you. You have a way about you. You just hand people drinks and they’re delicious. Like it’s like you, you know.
REGINA: Everyone, we’re having fun. Just drink the tequila. I’m actually into mezcal right now. But that’s another story. That’s chapter two. That’s chapter two. I’ll convert you to that.
JACKIE: But yeah, but I don’t know if that answers your question fully. But like, that’s the truth. It was all of these yeses that summed up into starting to shift my life and starting to ask myself these deeper questions, which, you know, let’s be real, that journey has a lot of like ups and a lot of downs and a lot of confusing moments and a lot of spirally moments. And, you know, it’s not all butterflies and rainbows like there’s some there was some deep work that had to be done. There were some releasing deep belief systems totally. And, and I’m still on the journey. Like, I’m still dealing with hormone stuff. You’ve been a part of that with me since we met as well. So this is a continuous journey. And like, that’s been something I’ve told people a lot this year is like, you never hit it, like you’ve never just like fucking hit it. Like we’re unlearning. We’re ascending. We’re growing however, you want to position it based on what language like resonates for you. There’s always a next layer. Always.
REGINA: You’re never at whenever you get to the point with healing and growth, where you’re like, I made it, then all of a sudden, you get smacked in the face with something else. Like, Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You think you made it? Here you go. Let’s give you another lesson. Go. Like I had 27 years of life before I started to wake the fuck up. And even now like I’m, I’m constantly understanding the deeper layers of my codependency and my human stuff. Like, with every new person I meet, I’m like, Fuck, there’s another lesson. There’s another thing to learn. With every new person I date. It’s like God, can I just fucking ride the wave?
JACKIE: I literally had this conversation with a good friend of mine. Her name’s Emma Jack. She’s epic. And she literally said to me via 2020, because it’s been a whole decade in the year right in six months. Oh my god. Can I just tell the universe to like, give me a timeout for a minute. Like, can we just pause this because I have learned more lessons in three months than I have in my entire lifetime. And it’s so interesting, right? Because we can’t unsee it anymore. Like we can’t not fear that’s part of the process of I guess unwinding and figuring out who you are.
REGINA: Speaking of 2020 and just like for anybody listening, if you’re listening down the road, we are still in the middle of the pandemic, the coronavirus pandemic. We are just on the cusp of issues like the Black Lives Matter, riots and things that have happened around the country. We are in the midst of a lot of Hollywood scandals based around human and children sex trafficking, like 20 is a fucking year right? For you, because it feels like it hasn’t been a year it’s been six months. What have been the greatest lessons or teachers for you out of this crazy time?
JACKIE: Yeah. And then like, I even think so. I live on Lake Huron in a small town in Canada. So outside of Toronto a couple hours. And you know, I think about a lot of my life prior to 2020 was hopping on airplanes and be at events and coming to see you in Scottsdale, are you coming to see me and spending time with my family like, there was people that I really aligned to in life that I chose to really invest in spend a lot of time with. And I mean, 2020 is like, Lockdown, you cannot leave the confines of your home! And oh, by the way, we’re going to close the border between Canada and the United States. So you can’t even see your best friends at all. So all the best to you in 2020. And there are some very heavy topics right now in the world. And there’s a lot of fear. And there’s a lot of people waking up. So it’s it’s really interesting shift energetically and like we can go whoo for a second. Like, I feel I sense spiritually, that the universe is essentially saying to us as a collective humanity. It’s time to wake up. So my moment was in 2012. Well, what year did you have a panic attack?
REGINA: Okay, I’m 33. It happened when I was like 27. So it was 2014. For me 2014, 2015 was because I was about 27 or 28 when it happened.
JACKIE: Okay, so like roughly around the same time, but some of us in life have had Wake Up Calls before this wake up call. And some of us in life are experiencing a wake up call energetically, spiritually, emotionally, physically now in this year. And I mean, I see that with my clients. I see that with my friends. I’m seeing that with my family, like I witness and observe human behavior like that’s what I do. And so I’m watching this all unfold And I think there’s so many things that we as humans have left, unspoken of on, like, we haven’t fully face that we haven’t allowed it to come up and heal, we haven’t addressed it, we’ve kind of numbed it out or pushed it into the system. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a political system or an education system, it does not matter where the system is. But there are systems that are in place globally, that are allowing us to kind of hide some of these topics, or we have hid some of these topics, and have not fully embraced and looked at them through the lens of humans, like real like really looking at through the lens of like a humanity and a collective. So I think there’s a big message happening spiritually in that context. And that’s what keeps coming up. For me, at least in my meditations and through my spiritual practices, guys, this is not meant to be like fear-mongering.
There’s so much fear in the system right now, there’s so much fear in the energy of and yet at the same time, I’m seeing there’s also so much hope, so much courage and hope to move us forward. And people really taking the time to look internally at themselves, I believe it always starts with yourself. So themselves at their family units, at their communities, at their countries and at the systems. So when I think about 2020, and I think about my own lessons, whether it is civil rights movement, whether it is trafficking, whether it is you know Coronavirus, I am often looking at through the lens of like, Okay, I need to as this is happening in the external world, like I have to go back into myself and start to look at ways in which I have in my life shown up in fear based energy before, where I have been, you know, where I have maybe not taken a stance or something that I truly believe in at the core, like, where is it in my own life showing up. So I can start to learn and unlearn and relearn myself, I can then become more solid in my direction forward and how I want to be an advocate for the future. Like, that’s what I’m really finding in 2020. And the biggest lesson for me, because one of my tendencies in life, just the lesson one of my tendencies is I can have the tendency to run and what I mean by that is like, if I’m not comfortable, if I get uncomfortable a little bit, I’m like, ooh, where can I go? Right? Like, where can I get on a plane and go to what event can I go to? How can I go to my friend? When can Regina come to me? I’m always looking for that next thing, because I’m very growth oriented. And I think about the future a lot. So I always like looking for the next thing, the next thing, the next thing. So that’s it, that’s conditioning, that’s a belief system for me and I run a lot. That’s how I’ve been able to define it. And for the first time that I can remember, there was no outlet to run to you. You were still trying to find one you’ve been scheming how to run from. Like, listen, Could somebody with a private jet, just get across the board and pick me up? And I’m kidding, I’m sort of kidding. But I think for me, the biggest lesson I read has been in finding gratitude, true gratitude, and finding peace in now. 2020 for me has been this energy of rootedness and anchoring and finding, finding myself through the environment of where I’m living. My family. You know, the town I’m in like a lot of things has helped me actually stay anchored, which, as anchored energetically as I had been in the past. I think this has been a profound shift in living in the now.
REGINA: Similar to you, and you touched on this, you didn’t say it exactly like this, but you said that you said it. Similar to you the pause when things are happening and like the energy is so frenetic and crazy and people are scared people are in fear. They feel like they need to quickly act quickly, say something quickly, and do something. And I am all about swift action. But I think in the time that we’re in, there’s something so powerful. taking some time to pause, to go inward, and to reflect. And then to decide what I want to comment on, or how I want to show up for this thing. I’m seeing so many people, especially in the online space, Jackie and I are both coaches, we both have online businesses. And I’m seeing a lot of people in our spaces want to comment immediately because they feel like they need to right? And because they’re not taking the time to reflect and to pause, they’re getting bitten in the ass, because they’re talking about things that they necessarily maybe shouldn’t be talking about, in the way they’re talking about them. Or the delivery sucks ass. And that’s a problem. We aren’t meant. Not every single person with a platform is supposed to talk about and comment on everything going on in the world. You just you don’t need to, you don’t need to have a public opinion about everything, and it fucking drives me insane. But lately, so many people do. Do you see that?
REGINA: And I think and this is what really pisses me off, I actually texted you, I don’t think I actually said this in a text the other day, but I was like, I’m really angry about something. So right now, in this moment in time, there’s a lot of light being shed on human trafficking, specifically the trafficking of children. This has been something that has been being discussed for years, it’s just that now everybody’s home. And all of a sudden, everybody’s a fucking expert on child trafficking. I am so thankful that so much light is being brought to this topic. However, comma, I feel like so many influencers are using these moments in time between the civil rights movement and between the human trafficking to be like, I’m an expert, I have the answers. Look at me, I’m jumping on the bandwagon. And these are fuckers who have never spoken about anything politically, they’ve never shown a fuckin gram of interest in this shit. And all of a sudden, they’re using their platforms to talk about things that they probably have done zero independent research on and are just copying shit they see on Instagram. And it makes me mad.
JACKIE: I feel it. Yeah, I feel like, Hey, listen, I’m gonna let me be completely candid and honest with you. So one, you know, my jam is there’s power in the pause. But when I get spirally, when I feel like I’m getting pulled into something, when I get into the energetic world of like, Instagram, which can really take us for a spin, I very quickly need to pause. And that means offline for a while. That means I’m not posting for a while. That means I’m going quiet for a while because what I told you in the last segment was I have to go back and look at myself in the mirror first. Where have I shown up, racist? Where have I made a comment? Where have I not been anti racist? Like Where have I, where’s my learning coming from? Right with growing up as a Canadian, multicultural, yet I lived in the south, I lived in Orlando, Florida for four years and took care of Florida, Alabama, and Georgia, like I was in the south and I had experiences there. So my life experiences lead me to have a belief system. And that belief system leads me to my knowing at this point. And then what I was noticing, especially around Black Lives Matter and around the civil rights movement, is that I was a novice, I did not know the depth, I had not spent the time understanding, I had not listened to really learn or to unlearn some of the patterns that I had. And so quickly, what happened is, listen, there was a call out for the white community to show up and to speak up and to like, step into what is right. And I can very quickly on the surface, say like, this is wrong. And therefore I will use my platform to say this is wrong. Yet, as an educated woman, I believe that I needed some time to come back in Word, do the work on myself, inclusive of independent research, talking to experts, listening to experts, allowing the people who have been the advocates in this space for many years, for many decades before this moment, to tap into their understanding and to really listen to what they were saying. And that unlearning relearning process does not mean that I don’t want to be an advocate and that I don’t want to step up for what is right in the world. It means that I believe in doing my due diligence to know what I’m talking about so that I can educate the people who are following me. That’s where I feel a responsibility. And so yes, I was a part of some of the movements that were out there because I just knew it was right to be part of those totally I knew that at the surface level, yet there’s been this. I’ve had multiple people in the last month text me, DM me and say like where have you been? You’re not on social media right now. And I’ll be honest, the energy of socials is a little bit spirally for me, and when things get spirally, I go back to the power and the cause. So I needed that pause, I needed this time to transition to look, learn to grow, to really tap into my network of people who I trust, that are experts and leaders in these areas. And so that I like I hear you, girl, because I’ve seen it, I’ve felt it. And, you know, 2020 has been a year where we’re all learning. And I believe some people are maybe going through the lesson of speaking and therefore getting some feedback, because that’s part of their wiring unraveling and conditioning like this is part of their journey. And I do trust the divine timing of it. So there’s something in it for them if they can choose to see it through that lens.
REGINA: Well, and I think it’s also just, it’s a part of like their contracts and their lessons in this lifetime to be maybe doing these things and getting scolded or learning through the process, right. Yeah, I just, for me, it’s so hard when I feel like people are not educating themselves. And they, I don’t like to see when something horrific comes to light. And it seems as though people are using it as a moment to take advantage of the hashtags trending. Yeah, for notoriety. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Social media is such an interesting thing, I think for both of us, because it is such an integral part of our businesses, because we work with people all over. But I think it’s been really difficult for both of us.
JACKIE: It has been really difficult, like social media for a minute. Insert beatbox moment.
REGINA: Seriously, it’s funny, because like, we’re both very active on social media. I’m probably more active than Jackie is. But we’re both super active. And we’ve been building our businesses and connecting with people there. But it’s not intuitive. They’re pretty been times when we both think that we’re better than them. But it’s also a crucial part of our businesses. What has been your, you know, bittersweet relationship with let’s focus on Instagram, cuz that’s where we both spend a lot of time.
JACKIE: Yeah. Well, not even just like, again, go back and get context right? We grew up in bureaucratic systems, like we grew up in, like the political game of corporate slash in like being a lawyer and an attorney. So there was like, the do’s and don’ts and the rights and wrongs and like, there was a little bit of a roadmap like there was a little bit of a playbook in that and quite frankly, I learned the playbook real quick and then fuckin wrote it out like I ran with it. And which led to my quote unquote success if we want to call it success until I ended up in a doctor’s office. But so like there’s this so this is their background, we have a background and educational background and systems a background and process background in knowing that there’s a way to politically move through a system okay. Insert Instagram 2.0 version of Jackie decides she wants to be a coach, there’s so many things I can do to support people in business and spiritual growth. And you know, I’ve been a consultant and coaching was kind of the next evolution of my journey. And so I step into this world of online, and for context, like I did a master’s in coaching, I’m an executive coach, I spent a shit ton of money getting the proper education and that right or wrong, that’s the path I went because that was the quote, unquote, right way to do it via the lens that I grew up in. And I land in this online world of Instagram. Honestly, it felt like the Wild West. There’s no fucking playbook here. How do these people get 100,000 likes? And how do these people end up with all these followers? And what’s the system? Like? Can somebody teach me about Instagram? Totally. Unless we know that there’s hacks we know that there’s ways to like quote, unquote, like grow in the game of Instagram? But it felt like the wild west to me, honestly.
REGINA: Well, it’s also like, this popped into my brain as you were talking, we were so conditioned in our corporate career worlds that our personal life and who we really are is irrelevant. And you know what I eat for breakfast and things about my family and things that make me uniquely Regina are irrelevant and you don’t share them in that context to fast forward to Instagram, where the only way you can really grow and connect and build a brand. And like having people know they can trust you is through really sharing bits of your life that we were never allowed to share before.
JACKIE: That’s it. And it feels so insert Jackie’s experience with that context. It feels so uncomfortable. But I’m like, Who cares what kind of coffee I’m having for breakfast? Who cares what salad I’m eating? Who cares what my twins are up to these days. Like, I look at it through that lens because the world I grew up in, like, that’s what I know. Like, people don’t actually need to see all this yet. Those are the things that people comment on, like, love. DM me back on, talk to me about six months later when I posted something about coffee that they’re still talking about.
REGINA: Oh my god, people remember that? We did. Right. I got it. I got a DM from a girl. I think I told you this. So like, what month is it right now? It’s July, last September, almost a year ago, I was dating a guy who lived in Italy. And I went to visit him in September. And I storied about the trip and shared all my bets on the gram. I haven’t forgotten about him. But I don’t think about him. Like we’re not dating. And I randomly got a message from a girl on Instagram who I don’t know. And she wanted to know if I was still dating the Italian. I was like, who?, oh, from like a year ago? No. You remember I don’t even think about that. People remember and they love and so like you I’m I have things in my life where I’m like, why would anybody want to see my day to day like, my I do the same shit every day, I eat the same turkey sandwich four days a week, like my life’s not that exciting. However, that’s what people want to see to connect with you to know that you’re a real human being too.
JACKIE: And if I’m honest, that’s what I like to see in other people. Right? So like if I’m looking at stories, and I’m thinking about mentors and people in that space that I look up to I’m like, Oh, no, wait, I am seeing that they’re going out for a run or Chris Amaury hurt or walking their dog again, right? Like, I’m seeing the things that seem trivial that they do every day. But to us, it’s like it grounds us into like, knowing them, and trusting them and liking them, like you said, which, for me, the world of online, which is sometimes missed. Because of how we look into bikini or doubt is, you know, real, raw human connection, I now had to reframe my mindset around Instagram, and it wasn’t about the followers. And it wasn’t about the legs. And it wasn’t about the reshares Do I look at that? Sure. Because I’m an analytical businesswoman. But beyond that, what I realized Instagram was just a tool to connect me to other humans who are like minded, who I can then either learn from, I can grow beside like yourself, and or maybe I can teach, like, those are the three things I’m on Instagram for. So with that in mind, that changes my perception of why I go on. So for a lot of people like, Listen, I’m in a transition point right now in my life, where I’m taking some of my business coaching and the executive coaching side and building out people agency. So I’m in this really interesting transition right now, where I’m not selling some of the things same, like the things I used to be doing on Instagram, I’m not talking about some of the same things because I’m transitioning. So I’m rebuilding and therefore will use that tool once I’m in a position to really have my voice again. And so it’s important that I keep that in mind. Because yes, I still post and yes, I show people a little bits of what’s going on in my world. I share other people’s stuff that I love. But I’m still in this transition moment. And when I’m ready, I will therefore use that tool again to really connect into this new kind of adventure that I’m going on.
REGINA: And I can help you with that.
JACKIE: I know it’s not amazing, like your social media business. I’m just gonna be like here, take it and run. Help me…
REGINA: I definitely have a mixed relationship with social media. I have a better relationship with it now and I just give myself grace to slowly reveal myself on social media and slowly show more and more. There are still huge parts of my life I don’t share on there. But you know, people really like to see Mikko the cat. So, he makes guest appearances, they like to hear about my workouts, they like to, I don’t know, different things I show.
JACKIE: Yeah, I get it and it does make us more human. Which in the world of like bots and fake followers and the shit that goes on in that and I like game of you know, I think when there’s real humans like when somebody follows me and they are like a real human and really are there to connect, you know, a quick voice note to them like we can get into a beautiful conversation and Instagram has led me to relationships that I would not have unless I was no active on the grant. So there’s so much goodness in it as well. Right? I think sometimes I can be a little more negative and be like, Instagram and this online coaching space and like, people are famous because they look hot in a bikini which is true, let’s be real, they become influencers that way. And, it is also incredible because it allows us a platform to connect other like-minded humans. Yeah, especially in a time where we are on lockdown and have to stay home. Like, really, because I already ran an online business my day-to-day shifted, because I was now caring for my three-year-old twin girls, and they were in my home every day, which we used to have help. But outside of that, like my day-to-day, my connections were still via my phone and zoom hangouts like we’re doing right now.
REGINA: Yeah, I had this funny conversation with the guy I’m dating about Instagram. And I said, I’d love to do an experiment where I create a second Instagram, and all it is is like pictures of me in cute outfits and in bathing suits. Just like totally vapid with like, captions that say like living my best life and just see how it does in terms of engagement and growth. He was like, that sounds like a really soul-crushing venture. I said I know but the analytical side of me is so curious to see how it would do.
JACKIE: I’m like dying inside because you know how I feel about that. And I’m like, there’s also a part of me that’s like, don’t do what Regina and then there’s a part of me that’s like, that’s really interesting. I wonder what you would like, what would happen to your Instagram?
REGINA: Like I’m wondering if I created that account to become like a fashion influencer to get free shit, which is all I really want. I want free shit on the internet. All I want. Listen, if anybody’s listening, I would like a sponsor sponsorship from Trader Joe’s… feed me. Target. I don’t need the appliances. I just need the target clothing forever. 21. And Sephora brand lipstick.
JACKIE: You got me hooked on Sephora brand lipstick.
REGINA: I’m a simple girl. I’m a simple girl living in a city. I can’t even say that without laughing. A shed Jackie service. I feel like there’s a million things we could talk about a million. But something Jackie and I have been talking about which we haven’t done yet. And I’d love for you guys to weigh in and we’ve thought about doing a podcast like weekly or bi-weekly, where I just heard a cat do something bad in the bathroom? What are you doing? We’ve talked about doing a podcast where every week or every other week we come on, and we chat about things that are going on in the world, in celebrity land in the coaching world, and politics and all the things. What do you think about that? Jax?
JACKIE: Listen, you and I talk, you and I talk every day anyway. So this is where it came from? Because some of the conversations we have are very insightful, can be very funny. Very. we’re contemplating big things in the world. And we’re literally bouncing ideas off of each other. And as a joke, but somewhat serious. We were like, what if we just pressed record? Yeah, as we’re having the conversations anyway, why not bring people in into our like cat mat lifestyle chats and jam out just damn out and bring you into our world like if that’s if people want to get to know us that way then like I’m all for it. I think it would be hysterical as I hold my crystals.
REGINA: As I snuggle a kitty by my foot. I think it’s a good idea. I think we should do it. We should do it bi-weekly. Beautiful. Alright, well, that concludes our segment of the All The Things podcast with Regina Lawrence and Jackie Serviss. We’ll be back next week to speak about other things such as anal fissures, children pooping in the bathtub and deep issues happening around child sex trafficking. Thank you. Much love guys. We’ll talk to you soon. Much love guys. Bye Cheers.
Regina Lawrence Esq. is a former trial attorney and law school professor turned soulful business & life strategist. She has found that so many entrepreneurs have these brilliant ideas and dreams but don’t know how to take the dream and create a system or structure to make that dream & idea profitable. That is where Regina comes in. With discipline, consistency, systems & structure, we can’t help but create profit & fulfillment from our soul-driven business ideas.
Regina’s approach to coaching marries her background in legal analysis, spirituality, mindset coaching, holistic nutrition, and neuroscience to create an experience that will assist you in getting into alignment, get clear on what you are here to do and what steps and systems to implement to make that dream a profitable reality.
You can find Regina on Instagram @reginaalawrence.