I am so excited to bring you our guest today. It’s not often that I get to have somebody on the show who is really a mentor for me in business and is somebody who I look up to in so many different ways and today we get to have the queen of, it’s funny. I was like, What is she the queen? Oh, I’m like she’s the queen of coaching. She’s the queen of Instagram. She’s the queen of shopping at TJ Maxx. The Queen of luxuriating and but one of the things I love the most about Tiffany is that she is the queen of literally giving zero fuck. And what I mean by that is she is the queen of being so authentically herself, that she doesn’t give a fuck what anybody says or thinks. And I love it and I live for it. And I’m so glad that you’re here. Welcome to the show.
Tiffany: Well, this is clearly going to be a fun episode. Like buckle up people!
Regina: Buckle up baby! So you know, one of the things that I just said that is so powerful about you that drew me to you the first time I saw you speak on stage is that you really give zero fucks you don’t care, it’s not that you don’t care, but you don’t allow people’s opinions to hold you back from stepping in and being the highest version of yourself. How are you like this? Where did this superpower come from?
Tiffany: I get asked this, probably as much as I get asked about my eyebrows which is natural guys by the witches often. Yeah, they’re natural and I’m hairy as fuck. And there’s regular waxing and tweezing that occur. Okay, so the zero fucks side of me, I am the last person who would ever be able to step into that. You know my story, I had a really abusive childhood I was sexually abused from the ages of 11 to 21 years old. My mom was involved in that process and had me go out with men and service clients of hers so I had no self-worth and in middle school, I was the school slut because of what happened to me so I was bullied. But I knew how to survive and have fake confidence. Like I would watch competent people whether it was on TV, or in real life and I knew they like stood up tall and they spoke with a strong voice not softly they would look at people in their eyes, not looked down at their feet or whatever so I would mimic that confidence in order to have like a protective mechanism. So for a lot of my life and even my adult life, everyone thought I was confident people would say oh I wish I had my shit together like you. You’re so so confident, I wish I was as confident as you and the first thing my brain would go is, “Oh my God, if they only knew I’m a fraud” and I knew that and I got into a career, two careers that required a lot of confidence you know as a TV newscaster that was all fake confidence got into the world of pharmaceutical sales you have to have you know confidence to do any form of a sales job. All fake confidence. All of it. I was confident in my ability to know how to speak to people or I’d find little things that I was confident about but I had zero self-worth. I really did and if someone really examined my life and knew the truth they would see it. I mean, I was dating you know toxic person after toxic person. I was a workout addict, I mean I’m talking for hours a day. I would allow friends bosses people to treat me like shit. And I’d be people-pleasing. You invited me over to your house I felt I always had to bring you a gift like I had to like earn my right to be there. I’d earn love or I had none of it. So that’s not what I know Regina means, or I mean by the whole like, when I do “zero fucks given” that’s not what we mean like that false confidence. The reason I embrace that so much is I’ve done a lot of work when I went to kill myself six and a half years ago and I know I say it just like kind of throw it out there, but that’s facts, you know I had a few million in the bank. If I was on Instagram at the time, thank God I wasn’t, I would have been one of those annoying people like on the private jet and showing all the things I’m I may or may not have had the influencer hat now I’m just kidding. I can’t do that. anymore. I’m over the hat. The hat, my Gucci belt, like both of them have to go. You would have seen that on the outside, but on the inside there was so much silent suffering, and I was over it. And thankfully, I didn’t end my life that day, and I got into recovery, and I got help. But it was a several-year process for me to start stepping in, and really owning who I am and liking myself first. The whole self-love thing makes me a little rashy because you can’t go from being super insecure, feeling like a fraud, hating things about yourself, and just like, have a weekend retreat. And now I’m filled with self-love. I wish that was the case. And I did look for that. I mean, I had all the books, I tried a lot of things, I went to workshops and things like that, and none of it worked.
So I was seeking that. I had to learn a little at a time to just start liking things about myself and then and then liking things more. And then I had to do things in practice. Like when people ask you at a store, strangers ask, how are you? That was really stressful for me most of my life answering because I didn’t want to lie and say, I’m great when I was a mess. But I also knew, no one really wanted to really know how it was. So I had to start practicing being more truthful with how I was really feeling with people in my life and strangers. So long story and long answer to your question, It’s a freaking process and you can’t do it alone. I had for eight years, I had a wonderful spiritual coach, she didn’t classify herself as a life coach. But essentially that’s what she was, she called it something else. I had a life coach, a therapist, I mean, I had a mentor, I needed a lot of people to help me see things in myself I couldn’t see and how to have that support. And it was so worth it. And there’s a different thing when you step into that zero fucks given version of yourself, you can really walk into a room, and really, genuinely don’t care if you like me. And it’s not in a brass way you know, like, I don’t care about people. It’s not my business, what do you think of me, I’m not for everyone. That’s okay. I refuse to follow the crowd. That’s not my jam. And I don’t need to. If it doesn’t feel good, I’m out. And that is the most freeing thing that anyone can do for themselves. But it’s also the hardest work to get there.
Regina: When you were starting that work was there. I know, obviously, there was lots of work. There were lots of mentors, there were lots of steps in lots of years, when you were first starting to step into it, was there a practice or thing that you adopted, that really started the ball rolling for you?
Tiffany: I had to completely revamp and create a routine. So my old routine went with the old Tiffany. So if I wanted to be a Tiffany 2.0 I needed to have a completely different routine, I needed to remove some people from my life, which in my case was everyone except one person. So I couldn’t have the same people places, things, routines, behaviors, and habits that supported that broken, miserable, lonely, old Tiffany. I had to bring in new things. And I didn’t necessarily know exactly what those things were. So I had to experiment and try different things. So I would try waking up and meditating in the morning, I would try waking up and read in the morning, I tried mantras, I would try different things and see what felt good and what actually stuck. But I had a commitment to totally being willing to revamp all of it.
The commitment and then the action to commit, I think about myself because I give zero fucks most of the time, but there’s still about 10% of me that still does and I’m still working on that. But the thing that started for me was the small practice of like, you need to change. I’m committed to change. I will never say or think a negative thought about myself anymore. And I literally would be like oh, that was so dumb, you’re so dumb and then I would stop myself and I would say no, you’re not dumb. That wasn’t the best life decision that you made, but you’re amazing. You’re not dumb and it was like a workout every time something would come up. It was like I was putting in the reps every time little by little.
Tiffany: It’s discipline. It can be exhausting. I mean, I just came off of like you know having a big launch which anyone listening who’s done a launch or done anything new, it brings up all your shit I don’t care how long you’ve been doing it it just it brings up a lot of stuff and I had stuff come up in my head I still have things come up like “Oh god TIFF you really you should have thought that funnel through a little better” I mean, you know I’m a Virgo right? Like we can be nasty and very self-critical, and that’s going to happen. I mean, we’re human and that’s not going to go anywhere. But I am able to let that go pretty quickly. Like, all I can do and all you can do is the best you can do at any given moment and that’s it. And sometimes the best doesn’t look back to you, and that’s also okay.
Regina: Because, all of it, life, and owning a business, it doesn’t look cute. It’s not a cute thing and I feel like we’re constantly being shown the false image of it being cute and perfect online.
Tiffany: Oh my god, I mean I’ve a new one because you know, I’m all about like the whole Polly the influencer. Now there Sarah the spiritual influencer I’ve come up with.
Sarah, she travels. She travels to Worlds like Tulum and Sedona and Costa Rica. And she wears her wide brim hat and has her green juice and usually has like a fake tan that makes her ethnically ambiguous. There’s a lot of whites and then ample amounts of bangles, bangles, and dangles, and talks about how everything and your business and making money it can be intuitive. And you know, you only really need to work when you feel like it. And it gets to be easy. And I just pull random ideas out of my ass and, and put them out there and write these posts and all the people come and buy it. And it’s very seductive. There’s usually a lot of seductive things happening with body and tone of voice even there’s like this, I don’t have the tone of voice obviously. But it’s like, it’s a very like, ethereal, like tone of voice, like almost like, Ooh, there’s lightning, right? It’s very hypnotizing and you’re like, “Oooh, I want to be in your world. like, Wow, that sounds so easy.” And when you see enough evidence of things in the media, online, whether they are true or not, and I don’t like getting political, but like Hello, everything that’s gone on the last two years, we’re being fed tons of stuff at a certain point. Whether things have facts behind them, we’re only human. We start taking things and maybe because we want to believe it’s true, right? Maybe because we’re scared so that we choose to believe it, whatever it is, you keep seeing it. You’re going to start believing it and who doesn’t want to believe that making money and having a business talking about whatever the fuck you want is gonna make you so much money that you can travel whenever. Oh, Sara also has the perfect hot husband who’s emotionally available, totally dedicated, who she’s retired. And he works full time for the company and happens to know all things tech and can take perfect Instagram photos. And as an incredible father.
Tiffany: And it’s just not facts by the way, and I’m and most people don’t like hearing. You know what you have to say about this because I know you’re very vocal about it too, or what I have to say because we’re bursting the fantasy bubble. They don’t want to believe it because the other is so much more attractive. I get it. But that dream state is it’s not serving you. It’s a setup for failure. Because I ended up coaching so many of you that come to me frustrated after years of doing all these money programs and manifesting and I’ve done intuitive practices and I’ve put out this offer and this content and all this stuff, and nothing’s working and it must be me. You know, God, the universe must not have chosen me. And it brings up all sorts of stuff and it’s like, that is not true. You’re using zero business strategy.
Regina: And the thing that people don’t realize is that Sarah? There is a strategy and everything she’s doing because when Sarah is selling something Sarah is showing up on her story for 10 fucking days during a launch and selling her ass off through her Tulum lifestyle she’s got a fucking strategy she’s on Instagram six-plus days a week
Tiffany: Damn straight. That’s the strategy. Like in dating, I use a lot of analogies on my podcast for those of you who don’t know me and it’s like dating, right? There are guys who have game may have game they’ve developed a game if they have a strong game they’ve developed that game because that game works, right? They know exactly what to do, they buy the same flowers, they like have the same first three dates down pat like every girl I do this with on the first date I take them here they’re wild date, they do it because that works. That doesn’t mean there’s much substance behind what they do. So there’s a strategy behind selling a fantasy. Just like you see in the health and fitness world right? I mean, I coach a lot of people in the fitness space and I have this woman who, I didn’t even know it was an award, but she’s the world champion of kettlebell champion. I didn’t know that was a thing. I was like, “Oh, that’s interesting.” And one of her things was, there’s a very popular workout company that you can subscribe to all their gazillions of workouts, and then they have these shakes that are terrible. It’s that company Okay, so her issue that she gets pissed about is her ideal client will go and sign up for these kinds of online things and not understanding why they’re not getting the muscle tone like the people who are teaching these online training with this brand, and it’s like in really small print at the bottom basically disclosing that in order to look like the people in the videos, you would have to do heavy weight training even though the whole program is you don’t need to use weights. Hmm okay. So it’s like, that’s what’s going on with that you know us using a parody of the Sarah the spiritual influencer like Regina said there’s a strategy the strategy is you get to have my life. You get to step into this. It’s so close. Your right there. You can have it. Let me just show you how. That’s the strategy. But what’s the fine print there? You and I talked about the fine print which, fine print is FINE print for a reason. I don’t have it as fine print as in my coaching agreement to work with me. The stuff you really need to know is in bright red and bold I don’t believe in burying shit in contracts I’m not that person. This is just how it is. I like people knowing what it takes in order to get consistent cash and clients online period. End of story. And if it’s not for you, and if you’re like God, That sounds terrible. I don’t feel I can do it. I don’t. That doesn’t sound fun. That doesn’t sound exciting to me. That’s okay. Then it’s not for you. That’s okay. I mean versus you spending and grinding away or worse, quitting your job and trying all these things, and then nothing is working over and over again and you end up, quitting and feeling like crap like a failure anyway.
Regina: Because you think that that it will just flow. That it will just be easy. And the other thing about Sarah the spiritual influencer is that, not only does she have a certain system and strategy but like the mask, she oftentimes be more in your feminine flow in your feminine because the masculine side of it is more of the structures the strategy. Fuckin Sarah has a giant ass whiteboard and she’s sitting with her assistant, and she is mapping out email flows and message marketing and what we’re going to make from this launch, and who is coming in and how we’re going to break it down.
Tiffany: 1,000% because here’s the thing, being in business for 14 years, I have two million-dollar businesses. And in my other business, I get to be behind the scenes of giant corporations. I’ve worked with small entrepreneurs, people just starting you name it. This is facts, not Tiffany facts. Without having a strategy. You are not going to make money. Yeah, you could probably get a client here or there. But you’re not going to make money that you can pay for your actual lifestyle. It’s not possible. There is a strategy behind that. Without a doubt, and if the strategy part is what stresses you out, or it feels heavy to you. Some of you aren’t going to like what I have to say, you must not want it badly enough if you’re not willing to do hard shit. Because there’s hard shit you have to do. I’m a strategist, and I get off on strategy. And I like doing it. And guess what, there’s a lot of times where I don’t feel like it. I don’t feel like recording a podcast episode, I don’t feel like reviewing 27 emails that have to go out. I don’t feel like coming up with a great name for something, I get content fatigue, I’m tired. But if I am a true CEO, and I have to show up anyway. I have to show up anyway, I don’t get to make up a way that works. There are nuances. And when you’re a business owner, and you can see what feels better to you, and what works better to you and how to set up a business that best supports you and your personality? Absolutely. But are you going to have to do grindy hardship? Not just like sometimes, but often, yes.
Regina: And you’re gonna have entire seasons of your business that are, it’s just a fucking grind, and you’re going to work more than you’ve ever wanted to work. I have clients right now who are scaling an agency. And I’m because of my social agency, they wanted me to help them scale. And so we’re there 90 days in, and we were talking about the plan for the next 90 days. And one of the owners said, you know, I’d really like in the next 90 days for us to be able to pull back, be able to work less hours, and to be making about 30 grand a month residual and the business and I said, is your goal and dream for this business for it to still end up being someday a million-dollar business? And he said, Absolutely. And I said, Okay, you’ve been fed a lie. And we, we have to address that. And so like, they were thinking that they could have an agency, I said, Listen, if you have an agency, and you get to work in it, eight to 10 hours a day, and you’re making a lot of money. Your life is fucking unreal. Yeah, that’s fantastic! Oh, and I was like, I know that this is jarring because you’ve been fed something very different. But you will never get to the levels of success that you want. If you think you only have to work four hours a day.
Regina: Yeah. It’s just not going to happen. Can you get to a certain point? The other business that I’ve had for 14 years, I work maybe half an hour a day at that. But you heard what I said 14 years and I have, I have full-time real employees, right? And my job is basically to be on at client meetings and go coach on sales to large organizations. That’s my job. That’s all I have to do for that.
Regina: How many years did it take to get to this point in your business and that other business?
Tiffany: Oh, to where it’s this little? 10-12? Where it’s been still making a million a year 10-12 Yeah, without a doubt, first three years. Oh, my God, brutal. Now I went about some things wrong. And I had a lot of like, money mindset stuff I needed to work on because I had a belief that you could only be successful if you killed yourself basically working. So I had that going against me. But I worked 12 hours a day, seven days a week. Could I have probably achieved the same amount of work and success in my first three years, at eight hours a day, six days a week? Yeah. I would say eight to 10 hours, six days a week in that business. Yep. Yeah. And now and project me with Tiffany Carter, this business that I’ve had for years. This year will be a million-dollar revenue year. I made a choice though, to take it slower. I was the old Tiffany can be like fast and furious and a spaz and then I get really burnt out so I chose to pace it more. Um, this business grew very fast but you have to also remember, I also had I mean, I’m not new to the game you know what I mean? Like I’m not new I’ve also done a ton of mindset work. I’m a professionally trained communicator. I like to say we all have a leg up and I and I don’t know where that comes from. It sounds very provocative. Probably some like thing from back in the day with like whorehouses or something. Hahaha. And everyone has a leg up even if you don’t think you do, right? Like Regina you know, you obviously are a great student and someone who’s highly intelligent to be able to go through law school and pass the bar. You are considered by society, a very beautiful woman, you’re very well-spoken. You’re tenacious, you’re not afraid to ask questions, you have a more extroverted personality. Those are all-natural gifts of yours that you’ve seasoned and seasoned and massaged and worked right? So every one of us has them so when you’re watching some of these people, they have some interesting legs up that have gotten them maybe to that point faster. Yeah, they have maybe a large social following because they were in maybe network marketing before or they’ve been on Instagram since the beginning or their Tick Tock happened to blow up or they have a best friend, I see this a lot they have a close friend who is of influencer status that feeds them heavy, which feed them some heavy heavy business right? And that’s their leg up. Right? Some people have a trust fund. Yep, we all have it. Even those of you listening like, god, what’s my leg up? Everyone does. Some people are just naturally analytical. Some people are good with numbers. Some people are you know, you’re a great writer, you’re a great listener, you’re really intuitive. Everyone has something so just be a little more discerning. Maybe ask yourself this question if you’re comparing yourself to someone else, or if you’re considering hiring someone as a coach or buying a program, like, what did it take for them to get here? So you can at least be honest with yourself about it. That doesn’t mean you can’t get there but just be honest. Like What Did it take for them to get where they’re at? Because they aren’t just magically here? Because they wrote some posts and you know did some sort of ethereal dancing in their Instagram Stories.
Regina: Something you know a lot of times with my businesses, I haven’t spoken about the money that I’ve made and how quickly I’ve made it because that’s not the lot for everyone right? Like when I started this business, I came from working with big companies I had experiences in education I also moved to Phoenix and I fucking took to the pavement five days a week. That every fucking human I could and busted my balls but what the problem and you and I’ve talked about this is that people come in and they’re like I’m 90 days into my business where’s my five-figure month?
Tiffany: Yes that’s my favorite. I love when clients do that with me. It makes me laugh. That’s why to work with me is by application only. And I do that and I only accept 30% of the applicants. Number one I have the privilege of doing that because of growing my business and my prestige in the coaching world right? When you first start, I tell my clients, unless someone’s crazy or like a 90-day fiance like you’re meeting with the person at least to even practice. Okay, period. Like I took what I could get in the beginning of both of my businesses so don’t get me wrong on that. But it’s like, when I ask a question of, I want to understand where someone wants to be three months from now or six months from now. I get Wild answers. Like, six months from now I want to be making you know, 50 to $100,000 months and they are dead serious and I’ll go, do you have a hookup? Like are you related to a celebrity? Is Kim K your cousin? Is your dad, like own a big company with a giant email list? Like where’s this coming from? No, no, no, but I just know who I am and how I can help people. And so there’s this like, I like the positive energy, but I’ve heard this term lately, where it’s like toxic positivity. It’s almost like delusional positivity. Like that’s actually a sneaky form of self-sabotage. It’s, it’s like a form of entitlement. Like, that’s wild. Like where is the basis? Not to say you can’t break barriers. And not to say that you can’t grow your business faster than anyone out there. I’m all about that. But there needs to be a little reality check in there. Otherwise, if we don’t have a dose of a reality check mixed with our dreams and aspirations, you’re going to end up setting yourself up for failure and sabotage.
Regina: Those quantum leaps in our businesses require a foundation. Like I’m seeing quantum leaps happening over the next six months in my businesses. But that’s because there are three years of like strategic foundation laid for the quantum leap. But people are like, I’m setting the intention. I’m setting the intention for the abundance to flow at $500,000 a year in your one, but there are literally no avenues set up for the abundance to flow through. The groundwork hasn’t been done.
Tiffany: Right. And the groundwork oftentimes is grunt work. It just is, um, it is, there’s 70% of the stuff I have to do. I don’t feel like doing it, but I would still rather work for myself and have my business and serve the people and do all the great things. I’d rather do that than anything else. But like, this is my pile of taxes that I’m not avoiding. I mean, this is for 2020 I’m 2021. I mean, there are lots of, things that are not sexy, right about entrepreneurship that are necessary, but you know what’s sexy? What’s sexy is the amount of cash your homegirl here has in the bank, because I’ve done the groundwork strategically, and I’m willing to do the grunt work to get the prize. So ask yourself that am I willing to lay the groundwork and do the grunt work to get the prize because the prize will come? But you have to be willing to do that shit for way longer than you even want to?
Regina: So I did my first journey to Tulum didn’t do the frog serum didn’t do the combo. But I’m on the beach under a cabana with my girlfriend and a string bikini on a poof with my laptop. And I’m like going on my laptop and my girlfriends were like, what are you doing and I was like, I have a business. I am so happy that the papaya playa project has the best Wi-Fi in the world. Like I’m drinking an iced coffee. And I’m literally working with my team and like this is life is good. This is fucking amazing. But like I the whole time I was into loom I was in a string bikini living my truth working on my laptop.
Tiffany: Right and now you could have shown the image right which does take for a great shot of you and the string bikini on your laptop with your iced coffee and like you’re just you know coming up because you feel like it with like some inspired content and you’re doing it you know and it’s just for about 30 minutes and the rest of the day is exploring the jungle and I’m like you know getting buzzed or whatever and it’s like, that’s there’s a story behind the pictures right? And the fact is, you can go to Tulum whenever the fuck you want. Because you also balance and do the work you’re willing to do the groundwork and the grunt work while you’re there.
Regina: Totally. Like this year has been the year of like, I have this business and I’m single and I don’t have kids. So I am going to travel everywhere but Regina, if you’re going to do that, I have to say this myself, this isn’t a vacation. You can’t stop working wherever you go. And luckily, I have a team of people so like, I’m accountable to five people. So I have to, I think we get people so fucking twisted.
Tiffany: Yeah, I mean, I’m at a point where I can truly go away. And the only thing I do when I’m away is I do create content. I love creating content. That’s what I teach, right? I teach strategic profitable content marketing like that is my jam. So I do that part when I travel. And if you are doing something you’re you’re super passionate about and love. It doesn’t feel as heavy. Okay, it doesn’t. But does that mean there aren’t days and weeks where you’re like, Why the fuck am I doing this? I just need to quit and go be a barista at Starbucks. Like, absolutely. I had that meltdown last week and a portion of this way. Yeah. You know, where I was like, This isn’t worth it. Like, I just I’m one of those people, though, who has like a dramatic like hissy fit moment just to get it out. And then I’m fine. But yeah, and I love what I do. But there’s a lot of you know, there’s a lot of hard moments. That’s why I share them, you know, on the podcast, that’s why I share them on my Instagram. That’s why I’m open about it. I want to normalize it so that people know, I wish someone taught me back 14 years ago. I mean, you were crazy to be an entrepreneur, you weren’t cool. You were absolutely fucking nuts, especially the career I left in pharmaceuticals, like similar to you, right? Like, why would you give that up? I was nuts. But I wish there was someone that I respected and I trusted, saying this is going to be hard. Buckle up, it’s going to be harder than you think. And that’s normal. Yeah, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, he might be doing some things wrong, you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. But that doesn’t mean you’re not meant to do it. It is hard, period.
Regina: It’s hard. It’s time-consuming. It takes strategy. And the problem that you and I see a lot is that people are lured into coaching programs and masterminds and are spending a large investment. And then they’re not getting the tangible things that they can use to create, grow and scale a business. So I’d love for you because you have so much experience in this. What would you advise people to look for when they are wanting to invest in a coach or a mastermind or something to uplevel their business?
Tiffany: I would say you probably don’t know what you’re missing, you know that. Because you don’t know what you don’t know. So you know that you need help. And whatever you’re doing isn’t working. You’re trying different things, you’re reverse engineering stuff. And you know you’re missing something. So that’s the first step if you already have lost your mind, you’ve waited too long to get help. That’s that’s facts. And that was me. It took me five years, my first business to hire a coach. One coaching wasn’t really a thing. It was only for high, high level, white male executives. It was like Tony Robbins on CD, you know what I’m saying? Like, that’s all there was. So part of it took that long. The other part is, I was being cheap, I was playing cheap with my business and my dreams, because when you’re a new entrepreneur, any money you put out is less money that you have, and you want to feel like you have the cash to justify all the work you’re doing. You know, so I was playing really cheap. I wasn’t looking at things like an investment. And meanwhile, I say that, and then my ass was buying a Prada bag, you know what I mean? Like, you have to kind of look, have a reality check with yourself, like, I’m going to spend my money instead of just spending money on something that I’m not going to get anything back. When people say you can start a business and not spend any money. Oh, you can but let’s see how far you get. Yeah, I mean, I’m looking at any research of any top brand in the world and how they started very quickly and early on. They were technically on you know, spreadsheet in debt in order to grow their business because they had to make investments, right restaurants, open being some of them 500,000 a million in debt, and then they recoup their costs.
So you have to spend money and you do or you can go about it alone. It’s a long road and it’s actually more costly, and that’s what I’m telling you to avoid. Because that was what I did. I could have hit faster numbers and gotten more clients with more ease and less pulling my hair out, had I spent the money and not been cheap, and got the right person to show me, you know, show me what was up. So then you’re like, Okay, so how do I know who? I wouldn’t focus on saying whose lifestyle I want because that can be really dangerous in this day and age. That used to be like a piece of advice a lot of people gave back in the day and it’s in a lot of personal development books, which is sound. But now with all the things on social media, like we were talking about, it can be alluring because they’re selling a fantasy, they’re selling a dream, they’re selling a body, they’re selling a lifestyle, I would more so look at it and go, who is going to be able to get me an ROI return on investment. If I go all-in with them not like I’m just going to show up for the calls and like, pick and choose what I do like you’re committing to like, do what this person says whether it’s me whether it’s Regina, you know you’re going to do what this person says and follow through and you know, you’re going to get a return on investment it’s very clear what you’re tangibly going to get from that. That is what I would focus on is the tangible first because you need to have fresh cash coming into your business. I’m all about the money mindset. I’m all about personal development that is pivotal you need to have that too but you thought to bring in cash if you need to pay your bills unless for some reason you have some kind of special buffer that you don’t have the privilege to not have to do that so I would really look at like is this person teaching something? Is what they’re teaching tangible and does it align with what I believe one of the holes is in my business right now? If the hole is I have no idea how to create content that generates you know clients well I’m someone you should look at right? That’s what I specialize in. If you’re someone who wants you’re like oh, I would love to do some kind of like an agency model and I’m or I’m maybe I’m a lawyer and I’m wanting to transition out and into developing a coaching practice. You need to look at Regina right? Like, see what hole someone specializes in filling? And are they going to tangibly teach you how the fuck to do it not serail talk, not theory. Remember those classes in college like the theory classes and you would leave like I don’t even know what happened. just happened like I did in journalism schools like these, like ethical theory classes and you’re like, I don’t know what’s going on here.
You don’t want that for your business. You want someone who’s going to give it to you straight up step by step. And, you know, I would say to start with private coaching, really. And I know that’s the scariest because it cost the most, but it’s going to be customized to your personality, your strengths, your weaknesses and your business. And I’m saying this and I just you know, I just closed a launch for a group program. Group programs. I mean, this was more of an intimate program, but group programs are also good, but it’s you’re not going to don’t expect to get fully custom customized stuff in a group or in a mastermind so some of this is on you if you’ve invested in things and it’s like not done anything well, did you go all-in with the person? Or did you buy into some fantasy expectations? Like a mastermind, you don’t sign up for a mastermind and learn step by step how to grow and scale in your business. That is for networking, period, you’re paying to be friends with people. That’s what it is and that’s okay, but just know what the different things are. Right? I mean, I have a group coaching membership. It’s my lowest ticket thing, right? It’s $100 a month, whatever so I have that there’s nothing wrong with if you’re like Tiffany, I literally have nothing. You know, my credit cards are maxed. I don’t want you to go well, then I can’t get help anywhere. No, that’s why you know, Regina has this podcast, it’s free. Well, I have a podcast, it’s free. That’s why I have a $ 100-month group coaching membership so that you can’t say to yourself, I can’t do anything. But I mean, personally, I would take with the right person. Why I would go take out Pay Pal credit I’d take a fucking credit card I would get a business loan I would do that a million that was my biggest mistake was not doing that
Regina: I would say when you’re evaluating I agree with you. I think just start to start one on one coaching with someone and get the customized coaching that you’re seeking but don’t just jump in don’t just see somebody on Instagram and be like I want that. Do some research. Figure out what value they’re going to offer you if they have some sort of like 20-minute call that you can chat with them and ask questions, do that and do some research and see who’s going to serve you at what you need and where you’re at.
Tiffany: Totally. And what I think the best way is to tell? You need to kind of not when you’re doing like you know that like dissociating scroll that we all do. Yeah, you’re like, what the fuck just happened it’s like four hours later I don’t want you to determine that in that mindset. I want you to come on with the mindset like put it out into the universe or God whatever you believe and then say like I really want to call in the right you know coach to help me with x and maybe it’s to help me with what I don’t even know what I don’t know what my problem is I need someone who can see it and help me then when you do scrolling with intention and read those coach read their content, watch their videos, listen to their podcasts if they’re not giving you tangible great information for free that is a major red flag. Versus just a lot of you know and I love I do a lot of mindset episodes too right? But like if it’s just the feel-good abundance mindset episodes and that’s all it is and there’s no tangibility and any of their content that’s not a good sign.
Regina: Wow that’s such good advice.
Tiffany: Yeah, well I learned this advice by making a lot of mistakes right? Because most of the coaches I have now I truly have, not that there isn’t always more I can learn and grow from but I need a lot of accountability if I’m left to my own devices Tiffany does nothing. Like almost nothing. So for me, it’s accountability because when I put real money on the line, I’m gonna show up right? I’m gonna show up so it’s like you have to kind of see what it is that you need but please try to check your ego to not fall for “God you know, I want the lifestyle where I’m just you know, traveling with a hot husband in an RV all over the United States and like I randomly just launch stuff and I have all the posts on my wall and every launch I do just sells out.” If someone is not also showing you the other side I’m not saying being negative but someone’s not showing you a mix of the highlight reel and the shit show I would say that’s also a red flag.
Regina: Absolutely Absolutely. Husband in the RV. Hahaha
Tiffany: I mean first of all I’d never fucking get an RV.
Regina: Oh my gosh I want five star, I want Villa on the beach. Like if I was that kind of influencer I want to be fucking in Tulum on the beach in an RV Fuck that.
Tiffany: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So check your ego and it’s there’s nothing wrong that you’ve signed up for things and you feel like an asshole and you’ve spent a bunch of money and you beat yourself up for it. It’s not because you’re too trusting or you can’t trust your judgment. There’s a strategy that lures people. I’ve fallen for many “Oh things people” like I really have to. I’m just sharing it to prevent you from that happening again. And so that you know what you’re getting into. I like knowing what I’m getting into with someone, with something and someone. Tell me about the good, bad, and the ugly. Don’t you want to know that? Then you can make a real decision if it’s for you. And if it’s not for you, no judgment for me, right?
Regina: I feel people should adopt that mindset in all relationships with your future business coach with the next guy you’re going to sleep with…
Tiffany: Yeah I mean really good advice for me to have heard many times over versus making excuses for people’s actions or lack of action. Thank you so much.
Regina: You’re the best. I love you thank you so much for coming on the podcast and for sharing all of your zero fucks.
Tiffany: You’re so welcome and if you guys want to reach out I’m:
ProjectME TV with Tiffany CarteRegina: Youtube.com/c/ProjectMETVwithTiffanyCarter
PODCASTiffany: ProjectME with Tiffany Carter: iTunes Spotify GooglePlay
Regina: Thank you for being on and everybody please go follow Tiffany over on Instagram, check her out online at https://projectmewithtiffany.com/. Her membership site is absolutely amazing for $100 a month it’s stupid how much value you get in that group and go check out her podcast. It is so funny. It has the best analogies and so much incredible business advice.
Regina Lawrence Esq. is a former trial attorney and law school professor turned soulful business & life strategist. She has found that so many entrepreneurs have these brilliant ideas and dreams but don’t know how to take the dream and create a system or structure to make that dream & idea profitable. That is where Regina comes in. With discipline, consistency, systems & structure, we can’t help but create profit & fulfillment from our soul-driven business ideas.
Regina’s approach to coaching marries her background in legal analysis, spirituality, mindset coaching, holistic nutrition, and neuroscience to create an experience that will assist you to get into alignment, get clear on what you are here to do and what steps and systems to implement to make that dream a profitable reality.
You can find Regina on Instagram @reginaalawrence