How to Truly Connect in an Over Connected World

I have got to thinking about human connection. We as human beings have this great natural desire to be connected to other people – to talk, to touch, to interact, to connect on a mental, spiritual, and physical level. It’s just what is ingrained in us. Yet, I’m seeing in society – in dating, friendships, marriages, partnerships, interactions at Starbucks – I’m seeing people who are starving for human connection. I think it’s especially bad at this time because we live in a world where there is so little human connection, true human connection.

We live in a world where we’re texting, emailing, FaceTiming (which I won’t deny does allow us to be connected to other people) but we’re living in a digital world where we’re not able to connect with people like we used to. We live in a world of Tinder, of swiping, of clicking for dating, and a lot of that authentic human connection has been lost. So, I think as a society and as a people we’re struggling because we want that connection. We’re starving for that connection, right? I know that I am. Isn’t it pretty ironic that in a world of over connection, we are starving for connection?

Since I’ve been feeling this in my own life, I know the pain. I know the unfulfilled desire. So I want to offer you three tips to help you feel more connected to other people.

TIP # 1 – You can’t truly connect to anyone else until you connect and become rooted in yourself.

Before you can connect with anyone else… before you can truly have human connection with another person, you MUST connect with yourself. What do I mean by that? How can you give and receive from another person if you haven’t even connected to who you are? Meaning, what is it that you want out of life? What is it that you are seeking out of life? How are you able to communicate and connect with somebody if you don’t even know what your own purpose and path is? So, my first challenge for you is get grounded and connect to YOU!

This has been something I have been working on in myself. Over the past few years, I have been on a journey to connect to who I am. One of the ways I have learned to connect to myself and get grounded is to determine what are my non-negotiable in my life that I must have to be centered. These are my ride-or-die / must haves to peace and living the good life. Mine include eating well, exercise, journaling, and meditation. Another non-non-negotiable for me is having great meals and connecting with my best girlfriends – spending time where we can see each other, talk, catch up and just connect and have real convos without our phones.

These are my non-negotiables. But yours might be spending time every day with your significant other, uninterrupted by phones and social media. Maybe you have a thing for knitting and that turns you on. Whatever is your thing, that centers you and roots you, you do you!

TIP # 2 – Start spending quality time with the people in your life you love the most

As you are reading this, you likely have wonderful people in your life who miss you. Who are wanting to spend time and connect with you. We have to start spending time with the people we love. This world is distracting. Listen I get it. I’m literally always distracted by my cell phone, my laptop, the TV, my Instragram, and all my social media. Like it’s painful for me to eat a meal or do anything in my day without documenting on my IG Story! But we have to allow for some time to disconnect and connect with people, to have dinners without phones, to see people face to face, to have phone conversations and hear people’s voices. Stop texting, unless it’s necessary and start picking up the phone and talking to people. Share words.

Even if I can’t pick up the phone and call somebody, I send voice memos on Facebook or through IMessage. I just want to connect with people and let them know that I care about them and that I crave that human connection, too. So, I challenge you to start to connect with people in ways that are going to be fulfilling for them and fulfilling for you and cultivate this great human connection.

TIP # 3 – You get back what you put out so start naturally connecting with people through your day!

We get from other people what we put out into the world. We get from the world what we put out there. So if you’re craving human connection (and PS you are… whether you realize it or not). So if you want that from the world and from other people, you have to put it out there first. That can be even as little as when you go to Target to connect with the person checking you out, ask about there day and don’t stare at your IG feed. Make a connection with them. When somebody is pumping your gas, look them in the eyes and say thank you. Just start to connect with people on a daily basis.

Instead of sending a text message to somebody, pick up the phone and call them or voice memo them. Start to put out human connection into the world and you will receive it back. But if you’re not a catalyst, if you don’t do it first, others won’t do it. And if we don’t all start taking some small steps to connect with people on a deeper level, we as a society are going to continually feel so unfulfilled.

Just some things to think about. Connect to yourself, connect with the ones you love and connect with the world at large. Put out those vibes on a daily basis and shed some light into this world and you’ll get it back tenfold.


December 23, 2018