It’s almost as if we are conditioned to want everything right now.
But why wouldn’t we? We are living in a society where I can now go on my Amazon app and have so many things delivered to my house today.
Where I can Grubhub or UberEats food from McDonald’s instead of driving the 2 minutes to get there. (I have never actually done this but I am not above it and I do not judge).
I can also essentially Grubhub a date or sex at anytime on an app. I don’t even have to go to a bar. I can sit on my couch, in my pjs, watching re-runs of “Sex and the City”, looking nothing like my Tinder profile pics and find a match…
Is it a mystery why we live in an “I want it now” culture?
So I Was Listening to My Friend, Ed Mylett…
Okay so he’s not actually my friend. But we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. And I take this very seriously. So I spend time with my favorite entrepreneur and podcaster, Ed Mylett, on the daily!
On this particular episode he was talking about how we are conditioned to get things instantaneously. But that success can’t always be obtained instantaneously. Click here to listen to the podcast!
Ed talks about how when we are having success today, it is because of the habits and the actions we were taking 30/60/90 plus days ago. And when we are having failures or non-success, we again must look to the behaviors and habits we were engaged in 30/60/90 days ago.
This hit me hard because it’s such a simple concept and it goes hand in hand with what I teach my clients with regards to clarity around their vision and daily non-negotiables.
If we are not moving the needle forward in an area of our life, it is falling behind. But often times, when we step back and look at our entire life and areas which we want to progress, it is overwhelming.
When we are overwhelmed, we often will do nothing.
Then nothing happens.
And then 30/60/90 pass by and we haven’t had successes in the areas we would like to.
And this could happen in your business, relationships, fitness, etc.
Moving the Needle Forward Without Overwhelm
I have a clarity exercise that I use with my clients that is so simple but so effective for figuring out 1) what areas of life you want to progress and 2) bite sized steps to do this.
The first thing I have someone do is write down the areas of their life they seek improvement.
The categories are usually something like –
Soul / Spirituality
Romantic relationship / partnerships
I encourage everyone to map out the categories that make up their whole life.
Then we talk about what their goals are for each category and we start to make that goal happen in bite-sized portions.
For examples, if someone comes to me and says under their “Mind” category, they want to start meditating every day for 30 minutes a day because they read an article about what that does for the mind and body.
Awesome – but I am going to start them off with a goal of 5 minutes of guided meditation daily. Why? Because if this person is not meditating, the likelihood that they will do a 30 minute daily meditation is not high. So I start them small, but consistent. After time, we will increase that goal.
The same goes for romantic relationships. I feel like this one must be highlighted because I think that these types of relationships (especially when we are in them for a long time) get neglected.
Long term romantic relationships often feel like a safe haven. We can get to a place of comfort with a person where we are comfortable and we feel like we don’t have to try anymore.
But then time passes, the relationships starts to fall apart ever so slightly, and we wonder why. It’s because just like in the area of business or mindset progress, that relationship with another human who you love, requires daily attention.
(This is why I am obsessed with communication in relationships – read this last post I did on Communication and SEX!)
I was working with one of my clients and she told me she was having some miscommunications in her marriage. When we got to the root of it, she and her husband give and receive love in different ways. But when she’s not doing the things that he likes for him and the relationship, he won’t do the things that she likes. And it turns into a standoff.
What we realized is if she did the one or two domestic things that he cared about on a daily basis, there was more harmony in the relationship. So for her, her daily commitments under the category of “romantic relationships” were “get dinner ready and spend a few minutes of quality time every day with my husband.”
Literally 30 minutes a day, compounded over a month, two months, three months, 5 years, 10 years, etc., can make or break that relationship.
And this principle applies to all areas of your life.
But when we don’t complete those small, consistent actions in each area of our life regularly, we see that we fall behind.
I encourage all of you to do this exercise.
Map out the areas of your life and bite sized goals that will get you to where you want to be. Do it consistently. Document to keep yourself accountable. And I promised you, you will see major breakthroughs and changes over the next three months.
What are the actions that you are committed to? Drop the comments below and let me know!!