The first thing I want to talk about tonight, which I’ll cover on this blog, is what I was talking about in my story this week. I got so many DMS about it. I want to talk about imposter syndrome. I think imposter syndrome is something that is thrown around a lot. I am also somebody that throws it around, and I want to talk about how it’s been coming up in my life. Maybe you’re experiencing it in your life right now. Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. Okay, okay, that’s me. I feel that sometimes. Do you ever feel that? I feel imposter syndrome, whoa! I have felt it at so many different times in my life. Every time I start something new in my life, I feel really fucking scared. If you follow me on social media, or even if you know me in real life, that might be surprising to you because I seem like, go for it, balls to the wall. But to be completely honest, I get really, really scared. And I don’t necessarily love change. I step into change. I have changed my entire life. I have reinvented myself; I’ve moved across the country. And I’m telling you that it was not easy for me and that there were a lot of painful moments and there was a lot of fear. And there was a lot of time in the fetal position under coffee tables, truly, or in my bathtub, listening to Rizzo and eating veggie straws… Imposter syndrome comes up for me every time I have something new going on in my life or my business.
I think a lot of people’s imposter syndrome shows up when they are embarking on something new, when they are scared, when they see fear, when we’re trying something new, when we’re procrastinating. I had someone say something really interesting to me the other day. I’ve been dating this new guy for, like, a little over a month and super interesting, super dreamy, smart entrepreneur, all the things amazing. And we’re talking about the feelings that I’ve been feeling, the fear that’s been creeping up. And he said, For him, he thinks of it as a sign that you’re hitting that edge. That edge that’s going to push you right when you’re coming up against, that edge that’s painful and uncomfortable and out of your comfort. That’s when we feel fear and the imposter syndrome. I sooo resonate with that because that’s how it shows up for me. I like to know how to do everything. I just do. I like to know how to do everything well. I think most people don’t want to fuck up. We don’t want to look like we don’t know that we have it together. I am a Virgo. I’m an enneagram three, which makes me an achiever. I like to be told I’m doing a good job because I’m doing a good job. And starting a new project where I’m just I’m not the best at it is hard for me.
The guy that I’m dating and I talked about it, and we want to try to start to do things that we’re both not good at and fail together to start to push through that edge of having to be perfect all the time. That’s how imposter syndrome is showing up for me in my life. As I talk to my clients, people are transitioning from one business to another, or one job to another, or starting a new branch of their business. They feel the fear, and they feel, “How am I going to do this? Why am I the one to do this? How am I going to get through this?” As you guys know, I’m a business coach for coaches and online entrepreneurs. Something that I don’t know, if you guys know about me, is that I also own a Social Media Marketing Agency. I do social media and brand consulting for companies. Right now, I am growing my social media agency, and I’m growing a team. So this means I am going to have people who work with me and who will help me, and this is really stretching me because I have been a solopreneur since I left the practice. Becoming an entrepreneur, stretched me and now I’m going from a solopreneur to having a team of people who work with me. That is where I have felt the imposter syndrome step in for me. I said to the guy I’m dating, “You know, I have these moments where I’m like, Who am I to do this? Why am I the one doing this?” And I challenge you, if you have that, come up, ask yourself, “Why the fuck am I not the person to do this?” Why you are “not the person to do it” is really, really the question.
I want to share some tangible action items with you guys when the fear comes and when the imposter syndrome sets in.
This weekend, I was really in my feelings, feeling a lot of fear, feeling like an imposter… So I sat down on my computer, and I started to write myself questions. Then I started to answer the questions. I started to ask myself things like, “Regina, what are you scared of?”, “Why is this causing you fear?”, “What about this makes you feel you are less?”, “What is the worst thing that’s going to happen if this fails?” Right? So oftentimes, that voice in our head, that’s saying, “You can’t do that thing.” It’s the voice of some part of our consciousness, just trying to keep us safe. Keep us in the status quo. Keep us in what we know. But when we start to dig into what is coming up for us, we realize that a lot of these fears are not rooted in truth. One of my best girlfriends on the planet, Jackie service, always asks me this question, “What do we know to be true?”, “What do I know to be TRUTH, right?” Because it’s so easy to get scared and to make up stories. And we want always to be rooted in truth and then shift into the energy of truth. So what I do is I write those questions. And then I answer those questions, think about them, and think about what is true, what do I know to be true? Just because our brain knows that something is true doesn’t mean we experience it and feel it as truth in the body.
Maybe we don’t experience it as truth in the body because of trauma or prior experiences, or other things that have happened. Something that I have done a lot of is I like to move the energy. I like to move my body. I like to move the energy. So what did I do? I sat with the fear. I looked fear in the eye. I asked myself these questions. I came up with answers to these questions. The way that I move energy is through movement. Sometimes I go for a spin or go to an F45 class, or jump on the peloton, or power walk. I like to move the energy. When I was feeling this, I put on music one Saturday or Sunday, and I danced it the fuck out. I love to dance. I love to move energy through dance and movement, shake and sing, and dance and jump around. That helps me raise my vibration and get me into a different state. Dance helps to move me into a peak state. Singing and dancing, and flowing helped me so much. So that’s what I did this weekend.
That exercise of the mind-body connection, the movement, and the processing helped me move through that and to realize, “Regina, Remember who the fuck you are.” So if you are in this place right now, where you are feeling fear, you feel like an imposter. But you know, that thing that you are feeling fear around is what you are here to do. It is part of what you are supposed to be doing right now in time, then the fears that you’re having and the things that are coming up are probably not rooted in the truth. So I recommend doing exactly what I said.
Prove me wrong. Tell me if it doesn’t work. Slide into my DMS @ReginaaLawrence on Instagram and let me know how it has worked for you. There is no way you are processing the fear, addressing the fear, and then moving the energy. It will help you. It will help you move through whatever is coming up for you.
We all have moments of imposter syndrome. It doesn’t matter if you are just starting your business or you’re making a bajillion dollars. My mentors tell me all the time that they, too, are experiencing the imposter syndrome. So I hope this is helpful for you guys.
As always, if you love this episode, share it in your story, tag me and let me know what about the episode you loved. If you love this episode, please go into iTunes, leave me a five-star review, and let me know what you loved about it. The more we can make this aware to the people in our world, the more impact I hopefully can make on this planet. I love you guys. Have such a great night.
Regina Lawrence Esq. is a former trial attorney and law school professor turned soulful business & life strategist. She has found that so many entrepreneurs have these brilliant ideas and dreams but don’t know how to take the dream and create a system or structure to make that dream & idea profitable. That is where Regina comes in. With discipline, consistency, systems & structure, we can’t help but create profit & fulfillment from our soul-driven business ideas.
Regina’s approach to coaching marries her background in legal analysis, spirituality, mindset coaching, holistic nutrition, and neuroscience to create an experience that will assist you in getting into alignment, get clear on what you are here to do and what steps and systems to implement to make that dream a profitable reality.
You can find Regina on Instagram @reginaalawrence.